Crop Top || High Waisted Trousers (similar) || Fringe Earrings || Steve Madden STECY Heels || Clutch (similar)
Now, for some real life. The next morning, we were headed to pick up L and got into a huge fight. I swear, we have our biggest fights in the car! We also seem to talk things through the best in the car-maybe because neither of us can get frustrated and walk away! After we talked things through, I got an idea to share some things that we have learned these past nine years of marriage and almost ten years of dating (yep, it was a quick engagement)! Read on and feel free to share your tips in the comments!
1. Learn each other's love languages: I am a "Receiving Gifts" and "Words of Affirmation" girl while he is more of a "Physical Touch" and "Acts of Service" guy. Since I respond well to gifts and loving words, that's how I show love, but he feels loved when we kiss or I do something practical that helps him. I have learned that by helping him with household tasks (like the dreaded yardwork), he feels appreciated and loved. You can take your quiz here to find out your love language!
2. Be vulnerable with each other: Maybe it's because we spent the majority of our marriage with J in the military and had to have those difficult conversations, but I feel that it really helped us to be open with one another regarding our hopes and fears. And also our plans if something should ever happen.
3. Take time for yourselves: Let each other have your own hobbies and friends. Yes, J is my best friend, but I also make time for my girlfriends (who are also my best friends) and time alone. He goes to the range alone, rides his jet ski, and spends bro-time doing who-knows-what. When we are able to happily spend time apart, we enjoy our time together that much more.
4. Don't make dinner reservations past 8 pm: This may be specifically for J, but we learned this last weekend. I'm too old to be eating that late.
5. Fight fair: I read a quote that says, "When you fight, remember it's not you against him. It's you and him against the problem." This struck a chord with me and has forced me to view our disagreements as a problem we need to solve together versus one that he needs to solve for me or vice versa.
6. DATE YOUR SPOUSE: This is a big one. Even if we can't get out of the house on a weekly basis, we try to cook dinner together a few nights a week. Throw on some music, throw out the recipe, and see what you can come up with! If we're really feeling romantic, we'll light some candles and have a "fancy dinner" right at home!
7. Pick your battles: J has this horrendous t-shirt that he's owned for probably 20 years. It has pigs (yes, pigs) on it and a hole in the belly button. I'll never understand why he continues to wear it, and I used to hate it so much, but quickly realized that there was some sentimental value behind it, so I will continue to lovingly wash, fold, and put it away in his drawer (just kidding, he does the laundry).
8. Say "I Love You" too much: I can't count how many times a day we say "I Love You" to one another, but I don't think there's such thing as saying it too much.
9. Remember why you fell in love: Self-explanatory, but super important to remember when they're annoying the crap out of you.
We are not experts on marriage by any means, but we have survived 3 deployments, 5 different houses (and twice as many cross-country moves), three dogs, a cat, and an 8-year old who just shaved off half his eyebrow last week. It's been a crazy nine years, but there's no one else I'd rather go through life with. He's my ride or die.